Two lives

As a young varsity student life can be really hard as you are living two lives, a life around your family and a life around your peers or rather varsity mates etc. We obviously all have secrets and things that you can’t share with your family as much as you have stuff that you can’t share with your friends that are just meant for your family only. Living two lives is not really being fake but it sure does feel fake as you feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not around certain people and that’s not the case. You’re just protecting yourself as a person. Imagine how your family would feel about you if they knew half of the things your friends know about you or worse they knew what you got up to with certain people. Life is a journey that we are all on and it’s up to you as an individual how you want your journey to be. This also goes hand in hand with values, morals, beliefs and what you stand up for as a person, your decisions daily are all based on all those elements I mentioned and it sure can get complicated and hard. Choosing the right friends is so tricky and it gets harder if you just can’t seem to vibe with the good ones yet vibe with the bad ones. That’s when serious decision making needs to happen and drastic decisions need to be taken. I always hear people saying one cannot choose their family and truly speaking I totally disagree. Family is not about DNA or whose blood you have running through your veins, there’s so much more to family than that. My family doesn’t know that I drink or date yet and honestly as a black child I’m not brave enough to allow my family to find out such about me unless I want to be seen as the black sheep of the family, odd one out or a disappointment. My biggest fear is my family finding out that I date, now that can be made a big deal. They will obviously get ideas that I’m having sex when I’m not or expect the worst from me such as pregnancy and I wouldn’t hear the end of it at all. My friends also don’t know everything that I go through with my family and there’s so much a family goes through that the public doesn’t need to know. Family is such an important element in life and nothing can ever replace your family. Life is not only about friends and family obviously, there’s so much to life than those two elements. Life also consists of love, light, happiness and most importantly God. Without God we all wouldn’t be on this earth. God is the Alpha and Omega, The beginning and the end and without him nor without acknowledging him nothing can ever work out. My other fear ever is losing a family member as I’ve lost a lot of family members already in my life and I cannot explain the pain of personal loss. It’s an undying feeling that haunts you day In and day out. God does say in the bible that he will never leave you nor forsake you and whatever you may go through he will always be there for you and loves you unconditionally. I’ve gone through so much as a young person and at times I felt like there was no point for me to carry on living, but because God is always watching and hears our pleas and cries he saved me from my dark thoughts. God wouldn’t bring you to this earth only to abandon you, he obviously has a plan for each and everyone of us. He has a story all written for all our lives and it was not a mistake. I have a purpose in this life and so do you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s